I am in love and I am happy about it. Khathu is just so perfect for me. He loves me just the way I deserve to be loved. We flew back from Cape Town on Tuesday. We got the earliest flight so we could both make it to work. I have been camping in his house since Tuesday evening and my father sent me a link to a real estate website to choose an apartment to rent. He says he is tired of me making excuses of where I am and he is not going to have me disrespect him like that. I took the offer and applied for a rental. He will pay for it until I buy my own house.
I had to block Tokello from calling me. He has been flooding my phone with SMSs since our date on Monday. If only he knew my man followed me all the way from Gauteng just to kiss and make-up. I told him, Tokello, that I have moved on and I thanked him for the closure. I wasted my time flying there but I’m glad I did. It made me realise how badly Khathu wants to be with me and I got the best make-up sex ever. We literally didnt sleep.
It is now Thursday afternoon and I have an appointment with a doctor. Now that I am back to the dating game, I think it is time I consult with a doctor. Also because Khathu and I are always humping each other like rabbits.
I made the 14:00 appointment with Dr Moola. I was referred to him by Charlotte. She says he is her family doctor and I trust her. Charlotte is too picky with every simple thing so I trust all her referrals.
The reception lady takes me to the doctor’s room. I chuckle when I see the doctor is black. I thought he was Indian.
“Good afternoon, please take a seat.” He receives my sticky note with my file number. They use online filing, how impressive.
“What does your name Moola mean? I thought it was Indian.” I chuckle and he raise his brows.
“Indian? I am very Venda.”
“Oh, my boyfriend is Venda too.”
“Is it? Maybe I know him, you know?” He is friendly. “Well, Mula…M.U.L.A is short of Mulatshawe.”
“Yoh, I will stick to Mula.”
“Most prefer it that way,” he says. “So, how can I help you today?”
“Well, I need a right contraceptive.”
“I see.” He types something on his computer. “So, do you have anything in particular that you need?”
“Anything that works perfectly. I am not ready for a baby.”
“Okay, when last did you see your period?”
“Last month, but it was normal…my next period is in a few weeks’ time.”
“Any unprotected sex activities lately?” he asks.
“Uhm…yea.”
“Well, I want to be sure before I give you anything that you are not pregnant already. We don’t want that, do we?” he says.
“Well, Monday. I thought he would pull out but he didn’t.” Too much information, I know. The doctor laughs hysterically. Maybe it is the way I said it.
“Withdrawal? It works for a few.”
“Why not though? Don’t you guys feel the ejaculation coming closer just like women know when they are about to cum? Women know when they are close that’s why some of us are able to announce to our partners to know that the feeling is close and they shouldn’t dare stop humping, you know? So is it not the same with males?”
“Well, it is a little difficult for some males to always predict ejaculation,” he says after a fit of giggles. “Did you take the morning-after pill?”
“I did.”
“Most morning pills are ninety to ninety five percent effective so there is that five percent, you know? So, let’s rather not give you anything until say the first day of your missed period. Alright?” he ask before giving me lecture on all types of contraceptives there is. I am glad I came to him. He knows his story and he is not impatient with me asking silly questions. I am going with the IUD. I am super scared to have it inserted but hey, it is the only thing that will work. I always forget to take pills and I don’t want no patch on my thighs or arm so IUD it is.
He did my health check and then gets busy on his computer. I scan around his beautiful consultation room, he has beautiful pics on the wall. There is a beautiful picture of a young lady on the end of the table. I smile at the way she perfectly looks happy.
“Who is that?” I ask and he raises his eyes to the direction of my finger pointing at the picture.
“My woman,” he says with a smile.
“Do you love her badly?”
“I do. Yeah. She is my soulmate that one.”
“Tell me, if she was with someone else, would you be able to live without her and love another woman?”
He rest his back on the chair and cross his arms on his chest.
“Well, I don’t know hey…that’s a difficult question.”
“Why is it difficult?”
“Maybe because she is the only woman I have deeply fell in love with, all my life. Before her, I could casually date but she is special and I don’t know what I would do without her,” he says and I can see he means it. “Tell me where all this is coming from?”
“I think I am in love with a man who is in love with another woman. Sometimes I feel like I am competing with her.”
“Well, not everybody is with their soul mates. Look at me, I love my woman with my life but I can’t really expect her to die for me just because I would take a bullet for her. She loves me perfectly and she has done things I never thought she would. Her name is Ria. But I live everyday with fear that she might want to be with someone else but me. Mostly because my relationship with her is complicated and my family keeps interfering, and I keep messing up sometimes, it’s just a mess. Even with that possibility of her breaking up with me, I love her deeply and give her my all. But I honestly don’t know what I would do without her,” he says and I sigh.
This love game is not as easy as it looks.
“Do you think I should be worried about the other lady?”
“I don’t know, really. It depends on what you want and how your man treats you, I guess. I’m so bad with such advices. I have never been in love before Ria so I can say I am new in this love matters,” he says and focuses on the computer screen. “Please come back to me after two weeks. When we are sure that you are not pregnant. You definitely need contraceptive. I will have our PA send you a calendar appointment.”
My phone vibrates from my bag and I pull it out to see who texted me.
‘Hey babe, I will be home again after six. I am rushing to see a friend in Faerie Glen hospital. I love you,’ Khathu’s SMS reads. That is perfectly fine with me because I will pass by Menlyn to get a mini grocery and dinner will be ready when he gets home.
“I’ll see you in two weeks.” Dr Mula says. “Don’t stress yourself about the other woman if your man loves you perfectly.”
“Thank you.” I pick my bag from an empty seat and walk away.
I know Khathu loves me enough and I shouldn’t worry about the other woman.
I pass by Food Lover’s Market to get spinach and fruits for the house. I get to Khathu’s apartment after five o’clock. The first thing I notice on the counter is his phone. He probably forgot it after texting me, because there is no other sign of him here. I shift it closer to the fruit basket and pull a bottle of wine from the cupboard. I poured myself a full glass and unpack the mini grocery. I am going to make spinach with pumpkin, roast chicken and pap. It is always his favourite.
I change into a simple dress and prepare him supper while sipping on my wine and watching TV from the kitchen. His phone lights up in front of me when I am packing the fruits into the basket. I don’t mean to snoop but the phone flashed infront of me.
I see a pop-up text from Lufuno. It reads, ‘I need you Khathu. Please come back?’
I shouldn’t have looked but I did. The damn phone flashed in my eyes.
I thought the friend he went to visit was a male, but it is obviously not. No man can send such a pleading message to another man. I wish I never looked at his phone.
I manage to finish cooking and he arrives home just after six. I have spent so much time with Khathu to know when he is stressed. He looks strained the moment he walks to the apartment.
“Hey, babe, the food smell amazing,” he says while giving me a hug. He is tense.
“I hope you are hungry,” I fake a smile.
He smiles at me and picks the phone from the kitchen counter. I never touched his phone but I hope his guts tells him I possibly saw a message from a ‘Lufuno’. He should turn off the damn pop-up messages.
I dish for him and I; and set the dining table for us. He takes the chair at the end of the table and I pick the other end.
“So how is your friend doing?” I ask and he digs on the food with his hand. He is a Venda man after all. No spoon necessary for eating pap.
“Very fine.”
“Who is it?” I ask, praying that he doesn’t lie to me or else it is the end of us.
“Uhm…why are you asking babe?” he asks.
“Just wondering…who is it?”
“Lufuno.” He says with his eyes on the plate. I appreciate his honesty.
“Who is Lufuno?” My heart is throbbing right now. I have never asked the name of this ‘woman’ who stole his heart from me. I am just praying it is not her whom he went to visit and who asked him to come back because she needed him. The name sounds familiar from the misunderstood Sunday but I am hoping it is not her.
“Ahhh babe, what’s up?” he fakes a laugh. I know a fake laugh when I hear one.
“Who is Lufuno?” I ask again. I dare him to lie to me and I am going to walk out of here without a warning.
“Babe.”
“Who the hell is Lufuno?” I throw the cutlery on the plate and he stares at me. I hate being made a fool.
“Tshepo what is wrong?”
“It is her, right? Lufuno is that woman you love dearly,” I say and he focuses on the plate of food. He is guilty. “Did you go to see Lufuno in hospital?”
“Yeah, but babe, I was just worried about her.”
“Why? What the hell Khathu?” I stand from the chair. “Didn’t you promise to never put yourself in a compromising situation with her?”
“Babe, come on.”
“You love her so much, don’t you?” I yell at him. “You choose to betray me once again?”
“Come on babe, please relax.”
I hurry to the bedroom to get my damn stuff. He comes to the room while I am shoving my clothes into my luggage bag.
“You make me sick,” I say without turning to him. He tries to hold me tight but I push him away. I am done with him. I am so done.
“Babe, please. Let’s talk.”
He begs until I give in.
“Fine! Let’s talk.” I sit on the bed. I am calmer and trying my best to supress the anger.
“She doesn’t mean anything to me. I was just worried about her. I pitied her. I want to be with you only. I am sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you like this.”
“Look, you can’t be with me. I cannot be with someone who is openly in love with another woman. You can’t fool me a bit, you still love her so bad that’s why you care so much for her. You care so much for her you didn’t even think for a second what would happen to us if I find out?”
“Babe, come on…”
“Please stay away from me? This is my humble request. Let’s do the business shoot tomorrow and I will be done with you. I want you to finish your project with MBC and get the hell away from me and my family.”
“Tshepo? Please give me a last chance to prove myself.”
“You need nothing to prove to me. I know what I know, from your actions.”
I jump off the bed and finish shoving the clothes into my luggage bag. He is still standing in the room with no come-back to give me.
I can’t believe this! He went all the way to visit her? Probably with flowers and fruit baskets! After the misunderstanding we had on Sunday? What does he want me to believe?
“You know what?” he asks and I turn to him. “You can go. You will never believe me when it comes to her. I used to like her but now I don’t, but I care for her as a friend. That doesn’t mean I love you any less. I just wanted to be there for her. My mistake was going there without you or telling you about it. I want to be with you.”
What an idiot?
“She asked you to come back because she needs you.”
“I am not going back there.”
“Why not?”
“Because I want to be here with you.”
I pick my shoes from the closet and toss them into the bag also.
“I loved us…but I am not desperate to be loved. No, I am not desperate to be loved by any man, including you. Wena, you just need to stop lying to yourself.”
“I think you are right.”
“Pardon?”
“I think you are right Tshepo. Maybe I am not meant for you and I am going to do nothing but hurt you. We cannot always fight about the same person over and over again. How many times should I tell you I don’t love her? I was there because she is a family friend…something like that. I want to be with you but if you want to go, Fine!!” he says rudely.
“I respect her, hey.” I zip my luggage bag and pull it out of Khathu’s bedroom.