Damn! I can literally smell her all over this house. She has a sweetest scent and this apartment makes me feel so damn closer to her. I sound like a pyscho but the girl drives me crazy. It feels like yesterday when I was seated alone at a table during Char and JJ’s engagement party. I was dateless and I was watching videos on Youtube when I heard her laughing. First I heard a sweet laugh from afar. I swear I smiled to myself before turning my eyes to her direction. I saw her pink high heel sandals first and traced my eyes up her hips and then lastly her perfect cute face. She had a glass of wine in her hand and I could tell how tipsy she was from the way she was talking to her friends.
“I like her,” I remember thinking that to myself.
How come I didn’t notice her all day? It didn’t make sense at all because she was a catch. She wore a pencil dress that hugged her hips so damn perfectly and I couldn’t move my eyes away from her. I couldn’t shut my ears from listening to that sweet voice. I swear I was drooling on her.
Wrong for a Christian, right? I have been judged all my life. I have lived my life following in my siblings’ shadows and I am considered a rebel. I am taught not to show affection because it is a sin. I had to balance the both, running away from showing my true self and pleasing the society to fit as a Pastor’s kid.
I kinda dont give a damn about what people think about me but at the same time, I find myself trying to fit into my father’s perfect family.
“Is she a christian? What does she do in church?” I can already hear my father asking about her when I tell him about her. I dont mean to judge but Tshepo doesn’t look like the type that goes to an all night prayer. She looks wild and fun; and I like that more.
I slosh half glass of whiskey in my throat.
“Shhhhhiii!” That was hot.
Who wouldn’t need a glass after an eventful day?
It was a long day, wasn’t it? Playing the hero of the day and running around the hospital corridors like a savior, huh? Having Tshepo squeeze her life into my hand, pushing her baby out of her?? Before I could even recover from that, the nurse dumped her cutest baby into my arms like it was mine.
I need a few shots! Who wouldn’t?
If there is one thing I know well is God’s timing. I might have lived my life not paying attention in Sunday school and all bible studies, but I know there is such thing as a God’s timing.
I missed church today. I am glad I did. Now I have something to look forward to: A date with a sweet loving sotho coloured girl.
I can’t wait for that date night, even though it is in months to come. I have a lot of things to ask her. I wanna know how she did it. How did she manage to melt my heart? I really want to know how she did it. My ex broke my heart to a point of no return. She fucked me up and I was ready to break little hearts that came past me. I should confess, I have broken a few hearts. Lemme say, before seeing Tshepo, I was a kind of a mess. Those girls offered themselves and I was on a mission unfortunately. Only now when I look back, it was unfair. Tshepo kinda changed all of that. She has a welcoming smile. She has that happy voice that hide all the pain that she might be going through. She dances a lot and she is fun. She is just fun, I cannot explain it. She sings along to stupid songs and I need someone as simple as her. I used to watch her on Instagram videos. I would jump at a notification that she was live on Instagram. I would close my office door and watch her sing to crazy complicated songs with foreign lyrics. They call what I do weird, but God knows it is a man in love.

See a woman in no make-up and judge her beauty from that. I have seen Tshepo in her worst moments but boy do I keep falling in love with her? She is as beautiful outside as her heart is. I passed by hospital earlier to drop some breakfast. Even in her PJs, the girl looks flawless for a new mom.
New mom, huh? I don’t even know what I am doing with a new mother. I am doing what my heart wants and I pray all works for me.
All things work together for the good to those who believe, right?
It is crazy how one heart works, am I wrong? First I wanted nothing to do with any woman and the next thing my heart longs for a woman…a pregnant one nogal. She was pregnant when I saw her at the wedding. Again, I was minding my business, working on my very first drone design when she passed the reception of the hotel in a white gown and fluffy sandals. She was rushing to the dressing room because she was grumbling at Char’s sister for bossing her around. I knew she was coming to the wedding but I wasn’t ready to feel what I felt. Her little bump was visible under her gown but for some reason it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter at all.
“I know I have to get ready for the wedding, but do we have to do it now? The wedding is in the noon anyway and some of us still needs to take a nap,” she cried at Char’s sister. I remember her words very well because it was already almost noon but she was sulking about sleeping some more. I followed her around until she walked down the aisle doing a little crazy funny dance. I bet whoever was sitting next to me thought I was crazy. I was giggling at her dance and I swear my face was red from blushing.
Enough about Tshepo, I have a project meeting to rush to. I have a deadly deadline and I didn’t even work on anything the whole of yesterday.
Sthe knocks on my office door before I could even grab a seat. The door is open so he walks in and stand by the door.
There is a problem with something. I know because he wouldn’t just freeze in front of me.
“What did you do?” I ask while switching my laptop on. “Sthe, what is the problem.”
“The designs are not printed.”
“Excuse me?”
“We took them to the printers on Friday but we forgot to sign them off for the team to start printing them and have them delivered to our office.”
“We have a meeting in less than an hour.”
“I need the designs in the boardroom fifteen minutes before the meeting…that gives you about fourty five minutes.” That is what my watch says.
“Sir, it is impossible to…”
“I have a meeting in an hour and I need those designs…” I say.
He looks at his watch and glare at me. I need the D.A.M.N designs for my meeting. Standing here won’t help him a single bit.
“Matt, come on…” he says and I stare at him. He thinks I am joking, right? Oh, well…I am not joking. He looks at his watch and rush out of the office.
I respond to a few emails and put up the slides for the presentation. Just before ten o’clock, I am in the boardroom with Purity, a junior engineer, together with our secretary. The owners of New Looks Mall are coming in for their presentation. Purity receive them and serve them tea while I converse with Mr Scott, the bigger fish of them all. Sthe comes rushing in with a bulk of papers in his arms. He throws everything on the table and take a huge sigh before placing each design in front of the chairs.
This is the last time this is happening.
It takes us an hour to present the design of a drone that will be placed all over the mall for security purposes. I am working on the censor to make it work without anyone controlling it. What it does is to send the daily report to the office before midnight. I designed the drone to differentiate between a normal and abnormal motion of a human being and other objects. If an abnormal movement is detected, then the drone will follow that motion and report to the office for back-up. The owners approved it and that calls for celebration. There is still a lot to work on but we can celebrate already.
“I am never, ever, ever drinking with you on a Friday when there is a meeting on a Monday,” Sthe says while putting a beer on the table. He loves the drafts from this restaurant and I prefer my whiskey.
“What are you talking about?” I know exactly what he is talking about. We are friends but I am the boss at the office.
“Do you know how much I bribed those printer guys to print those designs in thirty minutes? Dude, come on…that was not on.”
“You had to do what you had to do,” I say and he shakes his head.
“Never ever will I drink with you…today we are celebrating.” Yeah right. He will join me as long as I buy for him all the booze he wants. He is my friend anyway, together with JJ.
“She gave birth yesterday.”
“Whaattttt?” he gulps on the beer and give me an eye.
“I still want her man.”
“You do?”
“Yep…a baby boy. He looks nothing like her,” I gulp on the whiskey and call the waiter to pour me some. Just two glasses are enough for the day.
“So…do you still want to be with her?” he asks, not believing what I already told him.
What kind of a question is that? I want to be with her. That’s what my heart says.
“Are you sure?” he asks and I shake my head.
Honestly speaking, I don’t know. Love has hurt me before and I am not ready for some more pain. But I can never let my past blind me from great things ahead of me.
“So where is the father?”
“Saw him last night, he was coming to see them when I was leaving the hospital?”
“You went to the hospital?”
“Dude, I just told you the baby doesn’t look anything like her, how would I know if I didn’t see them in hospital?”
“I don’t know what is wrong with you…why would you want a woman with a new born?”
“The heart wants what it wants.”
“So you are going to play a happy family with her and the baby daddy?”
“I don’t think so…he came with a woman who looks like a girlfriend…”
“Yoooh…I thought you were smart but this whole situation is proving me otherwise. I want to understand why a man, with a hundred of church girls waiting to wed him would go for a new mother. Those girls in your church are too hot my man…”
“So wena Sthe you go to church to envy on girls? Sies, man…” Purity says as she tries she climb onto the bar stool. She was in the bathroom, powdering her nose, so she says.
“Those women were just too beautiful not to notice…and all of them came to greet Pastor Bae here after the service. I was just standing there, admiring…and now he wants to marry a new mother? I thought it was just a crush.”
“What is wrong with a new mother…you just have too much baby mama drama in your life Sthe,” Purity says.
“I am talking from experience…single mothers are just bitter…too bitter for my liking.”
“Mxm…I say go for her boss. She has life experience and…more experience in that field…if you know what I mean.”
These are my people. The only people who give me room to be myself outside of the office. The only ones who don’t kiss my behind for being the pastor’s son. They call a spade a spade, and I appreciate that.
“I say stay away from a baby mama…I warn you.”
“I say go for her.”
Ofcourse! I am going for her.

I couldn’t get Tshepo out of my mind for the whole week. I tried bringing work home but I cannot get her out of my mind. Waiting for months to see her is going to be so hard on me. I just want to see her and talk to her. I want to know if I have a room in her life. I want to know if she can open up her broken heart to let me in and help her mend it. I cant wait to smell her sweet scent. I can’t wait to hear her laugh and listen to her blub about her life. Just that! I need just that.
“Char…when is Tshepo getting out of the house?” I ask over the phone. I don’t think I can wait for three months to see her again. It has only been a week and it feels like decades. I want to put a stamp in her heart so that she doesn’t even think of going back to her ex.
I am here now.
“I think she has to go to the doctor for the baby’s check-up in the coming week or so.”
“I need your favour.”
“Can you baby sit for just an hour?”
“Baby sit?”
“I want to dine her. please.”
“Look…I am going to book a hotel so that I see Tshepo.”
“What the hell Matt?” she yells on the phone.
“No, relax…I want to book a hotel room for you to babysit for just two hours so that I take Tshepo for a full body massage and to dine her? I can’t wait for three months.”
“Ncoooo…ain’t you just a romantic?”
“So, can you get her to the hotel I will book…I will book the restaurant and spa in the same hotel? I just want to have a chat with her. Two hours will be enough.”
“Alright, two hours is acceptable.”
“Don’t tell her, it’s a surprise. Get me the date, okay?”
“What kind of flowers does she love?”
“I don’t know…she just loves flowers…does it matter which ones?”
“It matters. I have to get the first date right.”
“Oh, sweet.”
“Get me her dress size… I know she will come here in leggings so I want to get her this sexy dust pink dress I saw from this other boutique. I also saw a perfect pair of shoes for her. Get me the right sizes…I want everything to be just perfect.”
I am in love! Damn right I am in love.
“Matt, is this a date or you want to propose?”
“I might aswell buy a ring, right?” I ask and laugh before hanging up. I won’t but I wouldn’t mind. Should I get her a promise ring or something? Okay that would be weird. Should I…?
Okay, maybe not…
Damn!!!! I think this sotho woman drives me crazy.