Can a man get some fucken sleep in his own house? Do these people know that I didn’t sleep a wink last night? Thinking about almost everything connected to my life? I have Michelle to think about, also Lufuno, Tshepo and the baby on the other side, and lastly, my very own life. I have not been to work in two days and the last time I was there, I had Mr Maake pin me against the wall. I have all the rights to stress about everything. I still wonder if my job is still awaiting me. I texted Mr Mkhize and gave a number of excuses why I am not at work, I hope it works.
I can hear my mother’s voice from the leaving room. I wonder what her problem is right now. She arrived this morning and all I asked from her and Mandy is some peace and quiet. I had the worst nights of my life with people shouting at me. I want to cover my ears with the cushion when I hear Lufuno’s voice. I jump out of bed and wear my gown before treading to the living room.
“Why are you people making so much noise?” I ask and Lufuno stands from the couch. She is wearing a long dress and a jacket but still look as sexy as you can imagine.
“Khathu, are you alright?” she asks before I settle for a sit on a couch next to her. I want to pull her into a warmest hug but will never hear the end of it from my mother.
“I am fine Lufuno…I am fine,” I say and she sits on the couch as I did aswell. My girl looks worried sick bout me and I am genuinely touched.
“What did they say at jail?” she asks and I want to tell her but it can wait. I have to deal with my mother alone.
“Please join me outside,” I say while standing and taking her hand into mine. We need to talk by the way and I am not thinking infront of my nagging mother. I lead the way to the porch. It is hot and sunny today; and someone would think I am dramatic by appreciating a day like this. Jail will make you appreciate the little moments in life. That place can make up you pray every night, seeking intervention from the heavens.
Just when we walk outside and far from my mother’s sight, Lufuno clings on me and gives me a warmest hug. I can feel her heart throbbing as she tightens her hug. I have nothing much to say so I welcome her into the embrace. I allow her to cry as much as she wants. She is freaking out and I understand.
“You didn’t call me Khathu,” she says while wiping her tears.
“I am not supposed to…I am not supposed to see you.”
“Because I was the suspect in your case and I was told to never communicate with you. They told me yesterday and I didn’t want to mess everything,” I respond while she wipes her tears away.
“I thought you didn’t want to speak to me…or something,” she says before whipping. I am heart-broken because I never want to see Lufuno like this.
“You know I would have called you the same second, but everything is in the hands of the law. I don’t want to temper with them…Michelle still needs me.”
We have a cup of tea over the conversation about the criminal record. They obviously wont charge me until I am proven guilty. I know I am innocent but I am worried about what Mr Mkhize have heard. I still have to make partner and all this drama can mess with everything.
“Khathu, what’s going to happen to us?” Lufuno asks. I can see pain in her eyes and it is unfair that I am the one causing all of it into her life. She deserve way better than all of these.
“Lufuno…I love you…I have always loved you…so I should be the one asking you were we stand with Tshepo and the baby,” I say and she stares into her hands. This is a difficult one. I for one do not expect her to stay with me but I do wish she does.
“Do you want me to stay?” she asks. Ofcourse I do want her to stay. I just don’t want to be the selfish one here.
“Lufuno, I don’t expect you to stay with me…but I would really appreciate if you do,” I respond and she gives me a weak smile.
“What is with you and Mandy?” she asks and I frown.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“No Khathu…I don’t mean to create havoc but I didn’t know she was supposed to serve you in your room…am I missing something?”
“No, she doesn’t serve me in my room…never…why would you think that?”
“No, don’t stress about it.”
“Did my mother say something? Tell me?” I ask. My mother has been putting ideas on Mandiwana and she should just know that we can never work. Mandiwana and I are childhood friends and it should stay to that. I am not attracted to her and she is not attracted to me, my mother should stop forcing her ideas on the poor woman.
“No. I was just wondering,” she says with a fake smile. I can read through this. She is worried about Mandiwana when she shouldn’t be.
“How are you? What did the doctor say?”
“I am okay, I guess…I was just worried sick about you.” It feels good to hear the woman you love confess how worried she was of you. I had always dreamt of this.
“You should relax. I am okay,” I say.
Lufuno drives me crazy, this woman drives me crazy. Her beauty makes me feel drunk whenever I look deep into her eyes. She is more than I can wish for. Her teary eyes leads me out of this universe. I wish to grab her ass and smash it hard like I did on our vacation. Her calling my name the whole night. If only I could take us back there where she dug her nails deep into my back, begging me to do her some more. She has dreamy eyes and her wet lips are not giving me justice. Her full breasts turns me on just by staring at them. If only I could cup them and feel them some more. If only.
“How is Michelle?” she asks, bringing me back to her. I was miles away. I was undressing her with my eyes.
“Michelle is alright. She cried all night last night and she had to sleep with me to make sure I was not going anywhere. I hope she is able to focus at school today.”
“I am sorry she had to go through all this…because of me.”
“Lufuno, you are going to have to stay away for a little while,” I say and she glare at me. We still had to come back to this hurtful truth. I am not supposed to be meeting with her and I don’t want to be in trouble.
“My name is not cleared yet and since I am one of the prime suspects, I am allowed to be in contact with you. I should stay away from you until the rightful person is in jail.”
Atleast she understands. As hard as it is, she does understands.
I join my mother in the living room after Lufuno left. She was unhappy about staying away but she will just have to be strong for the both of us.
“So you still associate with her…after all the trouble she caused you?” My mother asks when I seat next to her.
“What trouble Mma? She didn’t cause no trouble for me.”
“You were in jail just days ago…have you forgotten already?”
“Please…all evidence were just pointing at me. She did nothing wrong.”
“Hmmm.” She focuses on the Tv playing infront of her. I want to leave for my room but we still have to discuss the other important issues, paying the damages to Tshepo’s family. Where do I even begin with her already grumpy about my relationship choices? Julia should just come back so that Mandiwana can leave for Venda already.
“Mma…I need you to speak to the uncles for me.”
“Regarding what? You want to marry already?”
“No…not that…it is something else.”
“What would you need the uncles for?”
“I got a woman pregnant.”
“Heee…are you telling me that the same woman who got you in jail is carrying your child? How complicated can this be?” she asks.
“Mma…Lufuno did not land me in jail…please…”
“Well…I am disaapointed in you Khathutshelo. I thought I picked Mandiwana perfectly for you, heee?”
“I didn’t need you to fix me with Mandiwana. I told you already…Mandy is Michelle’s nanny and that is it.”
“Haai…fine…I cannot force this girl to stay with you anymore…can I? I mean…who can stand for a man who impregnated another woman? So…you want the uncles to go see this Lufuno’s parents?”
“It is not Lufuno’s parents they have to see.”
“What do you mean?”
“Her name is Tshepo. Her father wants the family to meet before I can be part of the baby’s life.”
“What are you saying Khathutshelo?”
“Tshepo is pregnant with my child.”
“Tshepo is another woman?” she asks and I nod. Come on, I am not proud here.
“Inwi nwana…are you telling me you got one woman pregnant and you are dating another woman before your child is even born? How crazy can this be? You have got to be kidding me…serious.”
“Please Ma…I don’t need you to judge me.”
“Why not. You have done the worst thing I have ever imagined.”
“So you have broken up with this woman who is carrying your child?”
“Yes…it is complicated.”
“Nothing is complicated here. You need to marry her. Mandiwana can wait but you need to marry this woman pregnant with your child,” she says and I raise my brows.
“Why should we force a relationship?”
“Heella munna. You cannot just impregnate a woman and move on…you need to do right by her and marry her. What kind of a man did I raise you to be?”
“Tshepo and I will not work because I love Lufuno.”
“You are just confused Khathutshelo…you are confused.”
“I am not…”
“Are you telling me you are going to father children from different mothers? Heeee? Why don’t you just settle down with this woman and be happy with her?”
“I am in love with Lufuno.”
“Then why did you make a baby with this other one?” she asks. “Do you know that your blood is boiling now and if you are not careful, you will go around making more babies…are you aware of that?”
“Inwi Khathutshelo Nengwenda…I told you that you will remember my words one day. You think you know it all but you are just a boy. You know nothing.”
“Can we please talk to the uncles so that we do right by Tshepo’s family?”
“Count me out of this.”
“What do you mean?”
“Doing right by her family is marrying her. You have disappointed me. I had chosen a good wife for you but you keep disappointing me each day.”
“Are you going to help me or not?”
“We will go there if you are marrying the woman.”
“Tshepo and I are over…I don’t see us working.”
“Athi your woman was here…bring this Tshepo here first and I will tell you what you don’t know.”
“No, I am not going to have you decide anything for me.”
“You are confused my son but you still don’t want to hear the truth.”
“I am not confused. I know what I am doing.”
“Fine, bring Tshepo here.”
This conversation is not going anywhere. I stand from the couch and head for my room. I need to sleep for the two nights that I didn’t.
“You get a woman pregnant and then jump to the next…you are confused Khathutshelo…you are confused,” my mother yells as I walk into my room. I bang a door at her remarks.
I am not confused